Pictured here are my son Gabe and his son Andrew. Andrew is not even one yet but, as you can see, he’s already taken to imitating dad.
Example matters.
In everything set a great example. You’ll have no greater joy than to hear that your children are walking in the truth. (3 John 1:4)
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity
Excerpt from tomorrow’s post:
Regarding God’s will for your life in the context of adversity, the worst thing that can happen isn’t that the LORD will impose upon you a direction that you disagree with. The worst thing isn’t even that you miss what God has in mind for you to do. The worst thing that can happen is for you to miss out on drawing closer to Christ in the process. Overcoming adversity together builds relationship. Just ask any firefighter or soldier.
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.
Proverbs 17:17
Jesus Christ is your friend.
He’s your brother.
Draw close to Him
(Proverbs 18:24)
References:
God the Father gave one, and only one, command to the disciples. “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. LISTEN TO HIM!”
Matthew 17:5
“Laban is looking for idols” by Giovanni Battista Tiepolo
Last post we left Jacob in the act of fleeing from Laban. He had fulfilled all of his obligations to Laban and had received four keys that helped him to know that moving his family to Canaan was the right thing to do. Four keys that you and I can use to help us know what God’s direction is for us in our lives. (see previous post on knowing God’s direction)
Genesis 31:22-55
We pick up our story with Jacob three days travel away from Laban. But on that third day, Laban is told that Jacob has fled. So he gathers up his relatives and he chases after Jacob. After seven days he catches up to him in the hill country of Gilead. That night though, God comes to Laban in a dream and says, Be careful not to say anything to Jacob, either good or bad. (Some translate this as the LORD instructing Laban not to begin by speaking kindly to Jacob but then turning on him later, as has been the pattern with Laban. Matthew Henry translates it the same as Genesis 24:50 where, regarding Abraham’s servant’s return home with Rebekah, Laban and Bethuel say, “This is from the LORD; we can say nothing to you one way or the other.” Either way, Laban is warned by the LORD.)
Jacob had already made camp in the hills of Gilead when Laban showed up. Laban and his relatives set up camp there too. Then Laban says to Jacob, What are you doing? You pulled a fast one on me, and made off with my daughters like they were prisoners of war. Why did you sneak off like that? Why didn’t you let me know so I could throw you a going away party? You never even gave me a chance to kiss my grand-kids and my daughters goodbye. You acted foolishly. I and my family gathered here could do you harm, but, last night the God of your father said to me, Be careful not to say anything to Jacob, either good or bad. (Whatever the meaning of God’s message to Laban, the result was that Laban refrained from harming Jacob, out of fear of the LORD) Laban continued, So you took off because you want to return to your own family, alright, I get that. But why did you steal my gods?
Jacob answers, I was afraid. You outnumber me so I figured you’d take your daughters from me by force. But as for your gods, if you find anyone who has them, that person shall not live. Jacob said this, not realizing that Rachel had indeed stolen her father’s gods. Right here, right now, in the presence of our relatives, Jacob continues, go ahead and see for yourself whether there’s anything here that belongs to you. And if you find anything, then take it.
So Laban takes Jacob up on his offer and goes from Jacob’s tent, to Leah’s, to the tents of the two female servants, but of course he finds nothing. Then he comes to Rachel’s tent. Well Rachel had already hidden her father’s household gods in her camel’s saddle. And when her father came in to perform his search, there sat Rachel on top of that saddle. Laban rummages through everything in Rachel’s tent except for what was under the saddle. Rachel says to her father, “Don’t be angry, my lord, that I cannot stand up in your presence; I’m having my (menstrual) period.” (v.35) So he searched her tent except for the camel saddle, and he came up dry.
It’s worth noting that Jacob’s God, the one and only true and living God, spoke to Laban and protected Jacob. Whereas Laban’s gods weren’t even able to make their presence known to Laban from a few feet away. Laban’s gods were nothing more than a couple of small statues carved by men and stolen by a woman. As for you and I, we can celebrate the kingdom, the power, and the glory of our God. Unlike Laban, while our goods could be stolen from us, our God can never be taken from us. And unlike Laban, who couldn’t find his gods, anyone who seeks the true and living God will find Him. In fact He wants to be found. (see So Your Life Is Falling Apart)
Now Jacob is angry and he rips on Laban, What have I done to you? he asks. What justification do you have to hunt me down like this? You’ve turned my whole camp upside down looking for your gods, and what have you found that belongs to you? Go ahead, put it all here in front of everybody, let them judge between us!
For twenty years I’ve been loyal to you. Under my care your sheep and goats haven’t miscarried, I haven’t eaten rams from your flock. I never brought you animals torn up by wild beasts, instead I always bore the loss myself. And you demanded payment from me whenever an animal was stolen from the flock by someone else. I worked in the heat of the day and stayed out with those flocks in the cold sleepless night. It was like this for twenty years with you. Fourteen years for your two daughters and then six years for your flocks, during which you changed my wages ten times. If it weren’t for the God of my father, the God of Abraham and the Fear of Isaac, you would have sent me away empty handed. But the LORD has seen all of the hardship and hard work, and last night He rebuked you.
Jacob lost his cool. He let his anger fly. Maybe like me you’ve had a Jacob moment like this one. It has certainly broken my heart when I’ve lost it, and it breaks my heart to see Jacob lose it here, for a couple of reasons. First of all Jacob’s wrong! He doesn’t realize that Rachel has in fact stolen from her father. One reason to keep your head when you think you’ve been wronged is that you can never know all there is to know about any situation. What we know about the past is a tiny fraction of all that’s occurred and it’s skewed by what others have told us, from their perspective, which may or may not be accurate. It’s also skewed by what people haven’t told us. In Jacob’s case Rachel hasn’t told him that she stole from her father. When you think you’ve been wrongfully accused, keep your cool, you never know what might be missing from your assessment of the situation.
The second reason Jacob’s rant breaks my heart is the way it blows his witness. That whole righteous indignation thing can feel so good, as we let our feelings go, as we vent, as we pop the cork and let the pressure out. But what about our witness? And what does God think of us when we behave like that? Romans 14 tells us that the kingdom of God is righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, and God’s word goes on to tell us that’s because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval. (Romans 14:17-18) In spite of Laban’s deceiving, defrauding, and double-crossing for the last twenty years, Jacob served him with righteousness, peace, and joy. Jacob served him in a way that pleased God and demonstrated a tremendous witness to Laban and all those around him. Then, right at the very end, he blows his stack. In so doing he discounted a great witness that was twenty years in the making. If you’re doing well, don’t grow weary in well doing. Your serving with righteousness, peace, and joy is precious in God’s sight and it attracts people to Christ. Don’t unravel that service that’s a masterpiece from God’s perspective, by letting loose of your feelings. It’s destructive on multiple levels.
Back to our story: So after a rant like that one, what can Laban say? He answers, These women are my daughters, these kids are my grand-kids, these flocks are my flocks. Everything you see here is mine. (These are some interesting comments by Laban. Though he may have felt that way; though he may have felt that the women, kids, and flocks were his, Jacob had more than fulfilled his part of the bargain to receive them as his own. Regardless of Laban’s feelings, all that Laban saw belonged to Jacob.) Laban continued, Yet what can I do but let them go with you. Let’s make a covenant, and let it serve as a witness between us in the future.
So Jacob takes a stone and sets it up as a pillar. Then he has his relatives gather more stones and they pile them in a heap. Both Jacob and Laban’s camps then eat there together, by the heap of stones. Laban calls it Jegar Sahadutha and Jacob names it Galeed — both mean “heap of witness.”
The heap of stones was also called Mizpah, which means “watchtower” because Laban said, May the LORD keep watch between you and me when we’re apart from each other. If you don’t treat my daughters right, or if you take on wives besides them, even though no one’s around to see it, you remember that God is a witness between you and me.
Laban says, This heap is a witness between you and me today.
Laban also says, I won’t go past this heap to your side to harm you and you don’t go past this heap to my side to harm me. May the God of Abraham and the God of Nahor, the God of their father, judge between us.
Knowing how God’s hand was on Jacob, this was a shrewd move on Laban’s part. He could only expect Jacob to grow stronger and stronger as time went on. It was prudent on his part to make a treaty with Jacob to protect himself against that day that would surely come, when Jacob was greater than Laban.
So Jacob takes an oath in the name of the Fear of his father Isaac. He offers a sacrifice there in the hill country of Gilead and invites his family to the meal. After they finish, they spend the night there.
Early the next morning, Laban kisses his grand-kids and his daughters and blesses them. (Notice that there’s no mention of a kiss for Jacob) Then he leaves and returns home.
In-laws and Christ’s law:
In-laws. Movies are made about them. Books are written describing them. There are even websites for people who want to share about how much they hate their in-laws. In my experience I’ve found it to be fairly rare for young families to get along well with their in-laws. (Fortunately for me, I’m blessed to be one of these rare cases. Though I don’t deserve it, my in-laws are great people.) I’ve found it to be much more common for people to struggle in their relationships with their in-laws. From the son-in-law or daughter-in-law’s perspective, mother-in-law (not always, but usually the mother-in-law seems to be the villain) is meddling and manipulative. From the mother-in-law’s (or father-in-law’s) perspective, son-in-law is nowhere near good enough for their little princess, or daughter-in-law is nowhere near good enough for their little prince.
Well then, as an in-law, how should we behave toward our spouse’s family? One way would be to respond as that great, wise, and oft-quoted philosopher Eminem prescribes. “I don’t care if you’re black, white, straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian, short, tall, fat, skinny, rich or poor. If you’re nice to me, I’ll be nice to you. Simple as that.” –Eminem
That sounds pretty good, doesn’t it? If someone, your in-law in this context, is black, white, straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian, short, tall, fat, skinny, rich, or poor, be nice to them, as long as they’re nice to you. I think that much of humanity today lives by this ethic, dubbed the Eminem Ethic by orthodox pastor, Father Andrew Stephen Damick. (See Damick’s blog post on The Eminem Ethic) I’ll be nice to you, as long as you’re nice to me.
Of course, taking this reasoning of Eminem’s to it’s logical conclusion, it follows then that if you’re not nice to me, all bets are off. If you’re not nice to me, then I’m justified in treating you likewise. If you’re not nice to me, then I’m justified in behavior toward you that’s outside the parameters of nice. That still might sound pretty fair to some.
The only thing is, that’s not Christ’s way of doing things. Perhaps not too surprisingly, Christ’s way is different than Eminem’s way. Christ’s way, whether your in-laws are mistreating you or not, is in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you… (Matthew 7:12) Jesus’ way is to do to your in-laws what you would have them do to you. Christ’s way is to love them, regardless of their behavior toward you. In the twenty years before he went on his rant against Laban, Jacob demonstrated this beautifully, he lived it, he approached his relationship with his in-laws according to Christ’s law.
Eminem says, “If you’re nice to me, I’ll be nice to you.” “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.” –Jesus Christ (Matthew 5:44-45)
Eminem’s way, the world’s way, is the easy way. It’s the natural way for a human being to behave. It even feels good to respond Eminem’s way. I’m not saying that Jesus’ way will be easy, but in the long term, you’ll find yourself blessed. I’m not saying that His way will come naturally.
But Christ’s way,
as it always is,
is the better way.
“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
–Jesus Christ, Luke 6:27-36
References:
Knowing which way God wants me to go
In Genesis 30 we left Jacob in a state of prosperity. In spite of his mistreatment at the hand of Laban, Jacob refused to focus on the negative, and instead focused on using his knowledge of selective breeding to increase his flocks in dramatic fashion. He’s become a wealthy man. (See previous post on Genesis 30:25-43)
Genesis 31
Since Jacob’s come into his new found prosperity, he’s beginning to hear rumors, reports, and rumblings about Laban’s sons.
Jacob’s raking it in! They said. And at the expense of our father! He’s taking over everything our father owned and has gained his wealth from what belonged to our dad.
Beside the change in Laban’s sons, Jacob also noticed that Laban himself no longer had the same attitude toward him.
A couple of thoughts: One, it’s interesting to note that while Jacob was struggling under Laban, while he was laboring for Laban’s daughters and receiving no material compensation, Jacob was looked upon with great favor. But after Jacob began to prosper, the attitude of those around him changed. Everyone asks the Lord for prosperity. But people seem to see the Lord in us, during those times of trial. Peter Marshall, the former U.S. Senate Chaplain once said, “It is a fact of Christian experience that life is a series of troughs and peaks. In His efforts to get permanent possession of the soul, God relies on the troughs more than the peaks. And some of His special favorites have gone through longer and deeper troughs than anyone else.” God uses the troughs. It’s when we’re in the trough that people are attracted to Christ.
A second thought is that Laban’s sons are overvaluing material gain, as most of us do. You’re probably reminded, as I am, of what Paul said regarding money, For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. (1 Timothy 6:10) Here we see Laban’s sons’ hearts, pierced with many griefs. Had they kept the material in perspective, and maintained their good relationship with Jacob, perhaps they could have continued to enjoy Jacob’s company and the associated prosperity.
Shortly after the changes in attitude of those around him, Jacob hears from the LORD, Head for home Jake. Go back to your father and your family, and I’ll be with you.
So Jacob, while tending the flocks, sends word to Rachel and Leah to meet him out in the pasture.
Hey look, Jacob says. Your father has had a change in attitude toward me. Things aren’t the way they were before. But take heart because God’s been with me. You know how I worked my fingers to the bone for your dad, but your father continues to cheat me by changing my wages — he’s done it at least ten times! (Interesting that the same type of sin that Jacob was prone to be involved in, deceit and trickery, was the same sin that seemed to bother Jacob the most when he saw it in someone else. I wonder if he realized that in many ways, Laban was a mirror of Jacob himself) Nevertheless, Jacob continues. God’s watching over me and hasn’t allowed him to hurt me. If Laban said, The speckled ones will be your wages, then all the flocks had speckled offspring. And if he said, The streaked ones will be yours, then all the flocks gave birth to streaked offspring. So over time, God’s taken away your father’s livestock and given them to me.
One time during the breeding season, Jacob continues, I had a dream in which I looked up and saw streaked, speckled, and spotted male goats mating with the flock. The angel of God said to me in the dream, Jacob. I answered him, Here I am. And the angel said, Look up and see that all the male goats mating with the flock are streaked, speckled, or spotted, for I’ve seen everything that Laban’s been doing to you. (Here we see that Jacob’s attempts to alter the outcomes of breeding with striped sticks, and even with his selective breeding process, weren’t the reasons for his success. It was God’s hand on his life all along.) I am the God of Bethel, the place where you made the pillar, and anointed it with oil, and made a vow to me. Now leave at once and head back to your home town.
Rachel and Leah look at each other and say, We don’t have any share in our father’s inheritance anyway. Dad treats us like strangers. Not only has he sold us to you Jacob, but most of what he accumulated while you were working for him he’s used up. Everything, all the wealth that God took away from our dad now belongs to us and our kids. So, do whatever God has told you.
So Jacob puts his kids and his wives on camels, and he puts his flocks and herds ahead of him, along with all the material blessings he had accumulated, and he heads off to Canaan where his father Isaac still resides.
Two things I like about the way Jacob handled this situation. One is that even though he had received clear direction from the LORD, he made sure he had clear communication with his wives. Whether wife or husband, coach or teacher, father or mother, boss or leader, you’ll find that things will go much better, much smoother, much more peacefully, if you communicate clearly what you’re going to do, before you do it. Jacob even allowed his wives to give input. Would he have changed his course had his wives given feedback that he should go in a direction that was different from that which he received from the LORD? I don’t think so. But by allowing his wives to offer input, Jacob allowed his wives to feel listened to, to feel like they were a part of the decision to move to Canaan. This communication piece was a very wise move on the part of Jacob.
The second thing I like about how Jacob handled this situation is that he didn’t hesitate to obey God’s word. After he receives God’s instructions to relocate to a place that’s 450 miles away, he immediately calls for a family meeting. He allows his wives to offer their input as discussed above. Then, without further ado, he heads for Canaan. That’s a great example for you and for me. So often we wait to do what we know God wants us to do. I’ll get to it tomorrow, you might say. I’ll go to church next Sunday, you might think. Then tomorrow turns into next week, which turns into next month, which turns into next year. Next Sunday turns into next month, which turns into next Easter, which turns into next Christmas. There’s power in responding to God’s direction immediately. Without hesitation. Try it. You’ll be blessed.
Sometime during the process of gathering things for the move, Laban had gone out to shear his sheep. And while he was gone Rachel got into her dad’s stuff and stole his household gods. A good addition to the communication discussed earlier might have been for Jacob to meet with Laban and let him know that he was leaving. But Jacob, operating out of fear as we’ll see later, forgoes that communication and flees with everything he has. He crosses the Euphrates River and heads for the hills, literally. He heads for the hill country of Gilead.
Four keys to confirming direction:
Maybe you’re in a situation right now where you’re trying to make a decision, where you’re trying to figure out whether or not you should take the left fork or the right, where you’re trying to decide if you should stay or go. If that’s you then keep reading, because in our story we see four keys to recognizing God’s direction for your life.
1) Your responsibility
Your responsibility, is it fulfilled? In Jacob’s case, Jacob honored everything he ever said to Laban. He dutifully served his seven years for Leah, even though he was tricked into service for that period. Then he faithfully served another seven years for Rachel. Then, even though Laban changed the terms of their agreement ten times, Jacob acted honorably on his end and fulfilled all that was required of him according to the terms of their deal during his final six years with Laban. If you’ve made a commitment to stay in your job for at least one year, or if you’ve committed to coaching that youth sports team for at least one season, or if you’ve committed to your marriage until death do you part, then your direction is set. Like Jacob did, honor your commitment.
2) Your reception
Keep in mind that this key only applies if you’ve accomplished two things: a) You’ve fulfilled your responsibility, your commitment as described in point number one above. And b) You’ve genuinely loved those around you as the Lord would have you love, according to His word and His example. If, like Jacob, you’ve fulfilled your responsibility, and honored and blessed those around you, then this key applies. If, in spite of your best efforts, the people around you no longer receive you as they once did. If they have soured toward you, then it’s time to take a look at a change in direction. After everything that Jacob did for Laban, in spite of Laban’s deceitful ways, Laban’s attitude toward him soured. When you’ve fallen far enough out of favor, it’s time to take a look at a change in course.
3) God’s response
Jacob heard from God in a dream what his course of action would be. You may hear from God in a dream, or while reading His scriptures, or while praying, or at church, or while catching a teaching on the radio. You’ll find the same scriptures coming up again and again. The same topic coming up repeatedly. The same message popping up in a way that makes you say to yourself, Hey, this is more than just coincidence. Of course to hear the LORD speak to you in these ways, you’ll need to develop the regular habit of reading His scriptures, and praying, and going to church, etc. These are ways in which we can tap into the direction and wisdom of God. Having those activities in place provides access to the One who created the universe. Making these things a habit connects you up with He who knows far beyond anyone else what’s best for you and the people you love and care about. Who wouldn’t want to tap into that? So spend time in the places and activities where God speaks. If you’re not in prayer, not in church, not reading His word, then you’ll hear from Him much less. To hear what He has to say, you have to be paying attention.
4) Others’ recommendations
In Jacob’s situation he receives a recommendation from his wives to move forward with what he believes the LORD would have him do. Enlisting the wisdom of your spouse is a great move when seeking God’s direction. It’s also important, I believe, to seek out those who are older, wiser, and more godly than yourself. Particularly those who have already walked the path you’re considering walking down yourself. (Proverbs 15:22)
If these four keys line up: Your responsibility has been honored; your reception has soured, in spite of your best efforts; God’s response to your situation is to put the same or similar message in front of you, from His word; and finally, others’ recommendations confirm your decision, recommendations from those who are wiser and more Godly than yourself, and who have already walked the path you’re considering; when all these line up, God is saying, it’s time to change course.
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Proverbs 3:6
I honestly have no idea if the “You Are Here” arrow accurately portrays the location of earth. But one thing is obvious, the earth’s mass is microscopic by comparison
The scale of God’s universe from ten to the negative 35th power to ten to the 27th power is beautifully illustrated here:
You might want to check it out.
And these are but the outer fringe of his works;
how faint the whisper we hear of him!
Who then can understand the thunder of his power?
Job 26:14
…the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.
Luke 2:6-7
How Jesus loved people
Jesus showed up. Jesus, The Christ, blessed us with His presence. Jesus, the One who was the Word, and was God. The One who was with God in the beginning. The One through whom all things were made. He became the Light of all mankind. (John 1:1-5)
In fact, no one has ever seen God, but the one and only Son, who is himself God. (John 1:18) He became flesh and made his dwelling among us. (John 1:14)
Jesus, who was God, the Creator of all things, the One who lived with the Father, Jesus, The Christ, He became one of us.
How you can too
That’s what Jesus did. He lowered Himself. Even though we’re but dust and ashes, Jesus came to us. He showed up. He blessed us by initiating a relationship with you, with me, with all of humankind.
You have the opportunity to do the same. You might have a desire to bless the big man on campus with your presence. Or you might have a desire to bless the most popular people with your friendship. You might want to get to know the most powerful, or the richest, or the most famous people.
But where you really have power to make an impact, is with those people who would be blown away by your company. You know who they are. That shy person. That depressed person. The kid who wears funny looking clothes. The unpopular kid. I’m talking about Raj Koothrappali from the Big Bang Theory here. Or the the guy who’s struggling financially. Or the wallflower. That person who you know will light up when you approach them.
I’m not talking about doing anything special, I’m just talking about having a conversation, showing them a little love, taking two minutes of your time and talking to them. Bless them with your presence.
Just show up.
Like Jesus did.
"Personal relationships are the fertile soil from which all advancement, all success, all achievement in real life grows." --Ben Stein
Young man: “Sorry, I’m gaming (alone).”
Old man: “Relationships are everything — life’s about God and people.”
“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
–Jesus, The Christ
Matthew 22:37-40
The young man asked: “Why? Why am I going through this?”
The old man answered: “You’ve got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.”
We’ve been studying the life of Jacob for the last few weeks. Jacob, whose father and grandfather were great men of God. But whatever Jacob’s ancestors, including his grandfather Abraham might have accomplished, Jacob has to do his own growing. Jacob was threatened with murder by Esau; exiled from his home town and family; he had to travel through the desert for 450 miles; he was tricked into working an extra 7 years by Laban; he thought he was marrying the woman of his dreams but was tricked into marrying her older, probably unattractive, sister, so he marries both and now lives with constant bickering between the two.
And the really tough part hasn’t come yet.
There’s an old Irish proverb that goes like this:
You’ve got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.
How true that is.
Why are you going through this?
Take a look around. Find a man or a woman without trials and tribulations, and you’ll find a person without growth. The really great ones have gone through tough times.
So take heart. Don’t give up. Hang in. Move forward — in Christ’s name.
There are better days ahead. For…
Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.
James 1:12
Notes:
Image of new growth via Ray Sadler – Creative Commons
Newly released book by Kurt Bennett, now available on Amazon!
Love Like Jesus: How Jesus Loved People (and how you can love like Jesus)
Love Like Jesus begins with the story of how after a life of regular church attendance and Bible study, Bennett was challenged by a pastor to study Jesus. That led to an obsessive seven year deep dive. After pouring over Jesus’ every interaction with another human being, he realized he was doing a much better job of studying Jesus’ words than he was following Jesus’ words and example. The honest and fearless revelations of Bennett’s own moral failures affirm he wrote this book for himself as much as for others.
Love Like Jesus examines a variety of stories, examples, and research, including:
With genuine unfiltered honesty, Love Like Jesus, shows you how to live a life according to God’s definition of success: A life of loving God well, and loving the people around you well too.
A life of loving like Jesus.
Read Genesis 30:1-24
In chapter 29 we saw the that the LORD had compassion on Leah. Because of the resentment or lack of love that Jacob had for her, God blessed Leah with four sons. Rachel, up to this point, has been barren. We also saw how God chastised Jacob. He gave Jacob a dose of his own medicine when Laban duped Jacob into marrying Leah. Finally we saw that basing our emotional response on our tiny limited perspective is a misguided misuse of our energies, because God’s plan is so big, that only He will ever be able to see the whole picture. (See previous post on Genesis 29 — When morning came, there was Leah!)
So Leah has given birth to four sons. And all this time Rachel hasn’t conceived. At that time, in that culture, an inability to bear children was a source of great shame to a woman. So perhaps not surprisingly, Rachel became distraught. She became jealous of Leah. She saw her sister’s success in child bearing as a detriment to herself personally. Jealousy is an interesting emotion. In some ways it’s the opposite of love. I love my kids. I love my wife. Consequently, I’m rooting for them, I’m excited to see them do well. Jealousy, on the other hand, results in just the opposite. When Rachel saw Leah doing well in bearing children, she wasn’t happy about it at all. On the contrary, she was filled with remorse, with bitterness, with jealousy.
(BTW, 1 John 4:8 tells us that God is love — He’s for you, He rejoices in your victories, it’s His desire to see you blessed, and He delights in seeing you do well. The Bible also tells us that God is a jealous God. (Exodus 20:5) However this is in the context of worshiping idols and shouldn’t be confused with the type of jealousy referred to in our story about Rachel and Leah. One of the definitions of jealousy is “vigilance in maintaining or guarding something.” (see Dictionary.com) That’s the type of jealousy that’s God’s. His jealousy is that of someone who loves us so much that He guards us jealously, against those other gods who would lead us astray. If your son or daughter came home and announced that they were completely enchanted by a man he or she met, who happens to be a leader in the Italian Cosa Nostra, you’d jealously guard them against any further involvement! That’s the type of jealousy God has for me, and for you. I recently heard a celebrity say that she was turned off at a church service when she heard the pastor say that God is a jealous God. What a tragic misinterpretation of the meaning of the word, and a classic example of scripture taken out of context.)
So Rachel finds herself consumed with jealousy. As you and I might sometimes do, she’s looking for a convenient target upon which to express her frustration. And as you and I might sometimes do, she takes it out on her spouse, she says to Jacob, Give me babies! I’ll just die if you don’t!
Jacob becomes angry with her and replies, Am I God? I’m not the one who’s kept you from having children!
So Rachel, perhaps recognizing that her expectations of Jacob were amiss, says, Alright then, let’s do this, here’s Bilhah, my servant girl. Make love to her and she’ll bear children for me. I’ll build my family through her. (Having children “through” a woman’s servant was not an uncommon practice in that society, at that time.)
So that’s what they did. Rachel gave Jacob Bilhah as his wife, and he slept with her. She conceived and gave birth to a son.
Rachel rejoiced, she said, God has vindicated me or judged in my favor; He’s heard my cries and given me a son. And she named him Dan which means, “judge” or “he has vindicated.”
Later, Bilhah conceives again and has a second son. Rachel says, I’ve had a tussle with my sister, and I’ve won. She named him Naphtali which means “my struggle.”
Now Leah sees that the tide has turned. Rachel, through her servant Bilhah, has born fruit a couple of times and during this period, Leah has been fruitless, with respect to childbearing. So she gives Jacob her servant girl, Zilpah, to be his wife. And Zilpah bears Jacob a son. Leah says, Another son, what good fortune! So she names him Gad, which means, “a troop is coming” or, it can also mean, “good fortune.”
Then Leah’s servant Zilpah bears Jacob a second son. And Leah says, I’m so happy! And the women will call me blessed or happy. So, she named him Asher, which means, “happy.”
“The women will call me blessed.” Leah thinks herself blessed if the women in town call her blessed. Both Leah and Rachel are caught up in a calamitous competition as well as a concern for what other people think creating a mess of the relationships in Jacob’s family.
So at this point, each servant of Leah and Rachel has born for Jacob two sons.
Then, in the fall, during the time of the wheat harvest, Leah’s son Reuben comes back from the fields with some mandrakes. Now these mandrakes were a type of weed found in Israel. The top looks somewhat similar to a tobacco plant and the root looks somewhat similar to a turnip, except that the roots often branch out in ways that make them resemble the shape of a person. Perhaps for that reason the superstitious ascribed magical qualities to the mandrake plant. Two of these qualities, falsely attributed, were that of increasing sexual desire and fertility. So when Leah’s son Reuben comes back from the fields with some mandrakes, Rachel’s jealous again, this time she’s jealous that Leah’s come into a supply of mandrakes.
Rachel, desiring some of those mandrakes, presumably to use them as an aphrodisiac with Jacob, says, Please, give me some of those mandrakes that your son Reuben brought in.
But Leah says, Isn’t it enough that you monopolize all of my husband’s time? You’ve taken him away from me. And now you want my mandrakes too?
All right, all right, if you give me the mandrakes, you can sleep with him tonight, Rachel says.
At the end of the day, as Jacob’s coming in from working the harvest, Leah comes out to meet him. She says, You’re sleeping with me tonight. Reuben found some mandrakes and I’ve traded them to Rachel for one night with you. I’ve hired you out. So he complied and he spent the night with Leah. (I find it amusing that Jacob doesn’t appear to have a whole lot of say in any of this.)
God is again sensitive to Leah’s plight, and she becomes pregnant, and bears Jacob a son, the fifth from Leah. Leah says, (mistakenly, I believe), In reward for giving my servant to my husband, God has given me a son. So she names him Issachar, which sounds similar to the Hebrew word for reward.
Later, Leah becomes pregnant again, and gives Jacob a sixth son. She says, God’s given me a precious gift. Now that I’ve given him six sons, my husband will treat me with honor. So she named him Zebulun, which means, “honor.”
Later she gave birth to, Jacob and Leah’s last child, a daughter. She named her Dinah. It’s not surprising that Dinah is given the least amount of ink here in the Old Testament scriptures. In those times, women weren’t valued the way they are today. It’s through Jesus’ influence that the cultural patterns have been changed. Before Christ every culture devalued women. He’s the One who’s brought us to the place where no sex is superior. Are the sexes different? Of course. But is one superior over the other? No. Through Christ we’ve come to recognize the equality of not just the sexes, but of everyone. The thing that God hates is an attitude of one person lifting himself or herself over another. It’s an attitude that the LORD detests. There are similarities in all of us, we all have value in God’s sight and we’ve all sinned. We’re equal in Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. (Galatians 3:28) (Chuck Smith)
So Leah’s given birth to seven children, and it would seem that poor Rachel will never give Jacob any sons or daughters other than those that might come through her servant. But God, He remembers Rachel, and He listens to her pleas, and finally, after all this time, He provides for Rachel a son. She gives birth and says, God has taken away my disgrace. She named him Joseph which means, “may he add,” because she said, May the LORD add to me another son. A sad commentary on human nature — God gives Rachel a son and her response is, “may he add,” or, give me more.
So what do you think, about Rachel’s expectations of Jacob? When she demanded, Give me children, or I’ll die! Is that realistic? Jacob’s already had four sons with Leah, so everybody including Rachel knows that he’s biologically capable, he’s fertile. Rachel’s expectations of Jacob are completely misplaced. Her fulfillment doesn’t lie with Jacob.
Another person who had unrealistic expectations is found in the story of Namaan, the Syrian General, a man whom the Bible says was a valiant soldier. (2 Kings 5:1) He was in charge of all the armies of Syria which would be similar to the rank of Colin Powell when he served as the Secretary of Defense for the United States. Namaan was a man of high rank and great renown but he was also a leper. Now an Israeli slave girl, who served Namaan’s wife, mentioned that Namaan could be healed of his leprosy, if he would only go to Israel and seek out the prophet of God, Elisha. Namaan did as the Israeli girl said to — sort of. He went to the king of Israel, instead of to God’s prophet. He had a letter in hand from the king of Syria directing the king of Israel to heal Namaan. The king of Israel’s response? He tore his clothes and said, Am I God, that I can heal this guy? (Sound familiar?) Namaan was putting his hope in the wrong person. His expectation was that a great general like himself would receive what he needed from the head of the Israeli nation, not from God through his prophet Elisha.
So the prophet Elisha hears about Namaan and tells the king of Israel to send him on over. So Namaan, the great general, arrives at Elisha’s place and expects, I imagine, to be welcomed like a great dignitary. But Elisha doesn’t even come out of the house. Instead he sends a servant to tell Namaan to wash in the Jordan river seven times.
Namaan is livid! He didn’t get the reception he expected, and he didn’t get the remedy he expected either. Elisha didn’t bestow upon Namaan the keys to the city. Elisha didn’t lay hands on him and call out to heaven with great fanfare. Elisha didn’t even show up!
So the king wasn’t the only person in whom Namaan mistakenly put his hope, he also put his hope in a face to face meeting with Elisha. With his expectations violated and left only with the instructions from Elisha’s servant to wash in the Jordan, Namaan tells his entourage to pack up and head for home.
Then some of his servants say something that makes quite a lot of sense: Hey Namaan, they say. What if you were to just do what you’re supposed to do. I mean, if the king of Israel, or the prophet Elisha had given you some elaborate and difficult task to accomplish in order to be healed, wouldn’t you have done it? So what do you have to lose? Why not just do your part? Why not just do what you’re supposed to, wash in the Jordan seven times, and see what happens?
So Namaan does what he’s supposed to do, what the LORD through Elisha told him to do, and Namaan is healed of his leprosy.
The whole point is this, initially Naaman mistakenly put his hope in the wrong people. The king wasn’t where the answer would be found, and really, even Elisha, in and of himself, didn’t have the answer. Initially Naaman had some unrealistic expectations, but eventually, he did what he was supposed to do. Eventually, he focused on his part. And the LORD healed him. Rachel, rather than getting hung up on what she expects of Jacob, and what she hopes for Leah, no more kids, would have done well to focus on the LORD and what He has in mind for her. Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him. (Psalm 127:3) The LORD is the key, not Jacob. It may take awhile, it took Namaan seven baths in the Jordan river, it might take seven weeks, or seven months, or seven years for Rachel to become pregnant. Or she might bear fruit in a way that she never even expected. But the only thing for her to do is to focus on God and what He would have her do. That’s our lot: to obey, and to wait, and to put our hope in Him. (John 14:15, Psalm 27:14)
I know a thirty something whose company relocated from Oregon to Southern California at the end of 2011. He was offered the opportunity to relocate but, like most of the other employees at this particular company, what they offered made the move financially undo-able. So he faithfully continued to work at this place without resentment, giving his best right to the end of his tenure. Then he poured his energy into finding a new job, researching the job market thoroughly, carefully crafting a resume, reaching out to his network, submitting applications, he’s doing what he knows the LORD would have him do. I don’t hear him talking badly about his former employer. With his eyes on Christ, he’s focused on doing his part, taking care of his end. It’s been awhile but his efforts are starting to bear fruit. In fact he has an interview on Monday, and requests from recruiters are starting to come in.
In contrast to Rachel, Hannah is a great example of someone who responded well to her barren condition. Comparing the two: Rachel was jealous of Leah; Hannah wept unto the LORD. Rachel nags and badgers Jacob; Hannah submissively seeks help from God. After receiving a son, Rachel asks for another; Before she even had a son, In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the LORD, weeping bitterly. And she made a vow, saying, “LORD Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the LORD for all the days of his life…” 1 Samuel 1:10-11
Rachel demanded children, and she died in childbirth after delivering her second; Hannah asked the LORD for one child, then she had four more.
Maybe you’re waiting on the LORD for something today: for a job, or a wife, or a husband, or a child. Maybe you’ve been looking to your husband, or wife, or boss, or mother, or father, or teacher, or Christian friend, or elder, or pastor to fulfill that need. If that’s your situation then recognize that the LORD is where your answer lies. One of the greatest statements that John the Baptist ever made was, “I am not the Christ.” (John 1:20) John the Baptist is not the Christ. Neither was Jacob. Neither was the king of Israel for Namaan. Neither is your husband, or wife, or boss, or pastor, or whoever. Focus on Him and the things you know He has for you to do. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. (Psalm 27:14) The time of fruit bearing will come. For if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. (Romans 8:25)
Put your hope in Him.
Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.Psalm 42:5
1 When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!”
2 Jacob became angry with her and said, “Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?”
3 Then she said, “Here is Bilhah, my servant. Sleep with her so that she can bear children for me and I too can build a family through her.”
4 So she gave him her servant Bilhah as a wife. Jacob slept with her, 5 and she became pregnant and bore him a son.6 Then Rachel said, “God has vindicated me; he has listened to my plea and given me a son.” Because of this she named him Dan.
7 Rachel’s servant Bilhah conceived again and bore Jacob a second son. 8 Then Rachel said, “I have had a great struggle with my sister, and I have won.” So she named him Naphtali.
9 When Leah saw that she had stopped having children, she took her servant Zilpah and gave her to Jacob as a wife.10 Leah’s servant Zilpah bore Jacob a son. 11 Then Leah said, “What good fortune!” So she named him Gad.
12 Leah’s servant Zilpah bore Jacob a second son. 13 Then Leah said, “How happy I am! The women will call me happy.” So she named him Asher.
14 During wheat harvest, Reuben went out into the fields and found some mandrake plants, which he brought to his mother Leah. Rachel said to Leah, “Please give me some of your son’s mandrakes.”
15 But she said to her, “Wasn’t it enough that you took away my husband? Will you take my son’s mandrakes too?”
“Very well,” Rachel said, “he can sleep with you tonight in return for your son’s mandrakes.”
16 So when Jacob came in from the fields that evening, Leah went out to meet him. “You must sleep with me,” she said. “I have hired you with my son’s mandrakes.” So he slept with her that night.
17 God listened to Leah, and she became pregnant and bore Jacob a fifth son. 18 Then Leah said, “God has rewarded me for giving my servant to my husband.” So she named him Issachar.
19 Leah conceived again and bore Jacob a sixth son. 20 Then Leah said, “God has presented me with a precious gift. This time my husband will treat me with honor, because I have borne him six sons.” So she named him Zebulun.
21 Some time later she gave birth to a daughter and named her Dinah.
22 Then God remembered Rachel; he listened to her and enabled her to conceive. 23 She became pregnant and gave birth to a son and said, “God has taken away my disgrace.” 24 She named him Joseph, and said, “May the LORD add to me another son.”
References:
Old Dominion University: Bible Plants
Now available on Amazon!
Love Like Jesus: How Jesus Loved People (and how you can love like Jesus)
Love Like Jesus begins with the story of how after a life of regular church attendance and Bible study, Bennett was challenged by a pastor to study Jesus. That led to an obsessive seven year deep dive. After pouring over Jesus’ every interaction with another human being, he realized he was doing a much better job of studying Jesus’ words than he was following Jesus’ words and example. The honest and fearless revelations of Bennett’s own moral failures affirm he wrote this book for himself as much as for others.
Love Like Jesus examines a variety of stories, examples, and research, including:
With genuine unfiltered honesty, Love Like Jesus, shows you how to live a life according to God’s definition of success: A life of loving God well, and loving the people around you well too.
A life of loving like Jesus.
Time Well Spent
We’ve all heard it before:
“Spend time with the Lord.”
“Seek Him in a quiet place.”
“Pray.”
“Be a prayer warrior.”
“Spend time alone in God’s word.”
It’s all time well spent — right?
We hear it from our pastors at church. We read it in books. We hear it from each other.
Has anyone out there actually tried to put it these things into practice? You might find the response of those around you to be interesting.
In a culture that values activity, you might find that in the eyes of many, being a prayer warrior doesn’t count for much. Time in God’s word may be perceived by some as time wasted. When you’re praying, when you’re reading God’s word, you’re not physically doing. You’re not producing, at least in the world’s eyes.
It’s been said that the United States runs on coffee. Santa Fe Springs, California alone has 560 Starbucks stores within 25 miles. And in the last five or ten years we’ve moved beyond coffee. We have a plethora of energy drinks available to us that give us wings, right? Monster Energy, 5 Hour Energy, Red Bull…
“Go, go, go.”
“Do, do, do.”
“But I’m praying,” you say.
“But I’m reading God’s word,” you explain.
“Hey,” enough of that. “Get it in gear!” If not said outright, the expression on the faces of some say it clearly enough.
Please don’t get me wrong. I’m a believer in work. A number of years ago I read an article about geniuses and they all had one thing in common: they were prolific. They produced. They produced more great works than their contemporaries, and they even produced more mediocre work than their contemporaries. More recently Malcolm Gladwell writes of how he can’t find anyone at the top of their field who hasn’t put in at least 10,000 hours of work before they became successful. That’s 20 hours per week, for ten years. (Gladwell, Outliers)
Work is important. Work is essential. Getting things done is important. God can’t direct you if you’re not moving. You can’t navigate a boat if you leave it sitting at the dock.
So I’m not talking about using prayer and reading scripture as an excuse to be lazy or slothful. In a study by the Catholic church based on confessions, slothfulness was the third most common sin confessed, among men. (see article from the UK Telegraph) So laziness or slothfulness is definitely something to watch out for.
What I am saying is, although time spent working is of course essential, all those things you’ve heard about concerning how good it is to spend time with the Lord — they are absolutely true! Time with the Lord is time well spent! Whether in prayer, or in His word, or in church, or in worship. It’s time well invested. Ideally your time spent with Him will result in your activity being directed by the Holy Spirit. My hope and prayer is that your time and my time spent with Him will result in our work being born of God, coming from the Lord instead of from ourselves.
Billy Graham was asked recently,
If you could, would you go back and do anything differently?
Yes, of course. I’d spend more time at home with my family, and I’d study more and preach less. I wouldn’t have taken so many speaking engagements, including some of the things I did over the years that I probably didn’t really need to do—weddings and funerals and building dedications, things like that. Whenever I counsel someone who feels called to be an evangelist, I always urge them to guard their time and not feel like they have to do everything.
I also would have steered clear of politics. I’m grateful for the opportunities God gave me to minister to people in high places; people in power have spiritual and personal needs like everyone else, and often they have no one to talk to. But looking back I know I sometimes crossed the line, and I wouldn’t do that now.
Spending time with Him is good. I hope what I’m sharing today will encourage you to carve out time with Him. But because our culture so values activity for activity’s sake, if you’ve just decided to embark on a new quest to spend quality time with Christ, if you’ve purposed in your heart to devote significant time each day to be with Him, brace yourself, steel yourself, prepare yourself. Some of the people around you may not recognize the value in what you’re attempting to do. You may even be surprised by who some of those people are. But be strong and of a good courage. (Joshua 1:9) Continue to seek Him.
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Luke 10:38-42
References:
Photo: DesiringGod.org
Genesis 32:1-21 — Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid
Jacob’s Fervent Prayer
Where we left Jacob: In Genesis 31 we saw that Jacob was told by God in a dream to leave his uncle Laban, and return to his former home in Canaan. So without telling Laban, Jacob gathered his household and fled. However after three days, Laban found out and pursued Jacob, eventually chasing him down. Laban and Jacob had a heated verbal encounter that included Laban accusing Jacob of stealing his idols, and criticizing Jacob for leaving without offering Laban a chance to say good-bye. Ultimately, Jacob and Laban agreed to a treaty between the two households, and Laban went on his way. (see previous post Genesis 31:22-55 — Jacob was angry and took Laban to task)
Genesis 32:1-21
So shortly after Laban leaves, Jacob leaves also. He resumes his journey back to his former home in the land of Canaan, and on his way the angels of God meet him. When Jacob saw them, he said, This is the camp of God! And he named the place where he encountered the angels Mahanaim, which means two camps. The Bible says that the angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them. (Psalm 34:7) We see this played out here on Jacob’s journey. While we don’t learn much about exactly how they made themselves known to Jacob, it had to have been an amazing experience. Perhaps these were those who would minister to him invisibly, but for a moment, the LORD allows Jacob the privilege of enjoying the visible manifestation of their presence. (Hebrews 1:14) (Psalm 91:11)
As Jacob progresses on his journey, a few troubling thoughts are probably progressing through his mind. His recollection of his manipulations to maneuver Esau out of his birthright and blessing, as well as his remembrance of Esau’s threat to kill him for revenge, are most likely moving to the forefront of his mind in correlation to how close he is to his encounter with Esau, in the country of Edom where Esau lives.
So he sends messengers ahead of him, to his brother Esau. He tells them, This is what you say to my lord Esau: Your servant Jacob says, I’ve been staying with Laban up until now. I have cattle and donkeys, sheep and goats, male and female servants, I’m doing well. Now I’m sending this message to my lord, that I may find favor in your eyes.
That sounds pretty good, doesn’t it? In a very humble and deferential manner, he calls Esau his lord, perhaps to ease any concern on Esau’s part that he’s come to claim lordship over Esau, though it was given to him in the blessing. Jacob tells him where he’s been all this time. He also shares with him of his prosperity, perhaps to lay aside Esau’s concern that Jacob is returning to claim his birthright. Finally, Jacob very directly asks for Esau’s favor. Maybe with such a communication as this the two can reconcile.
But when the messengers return they say, We went to meet Esau, and now he’s coming to meet you — with four hundred men.
Uh, oh.
Jacob became afraid. The kind of sick to your stomach afraid that most of us have experienced at one time or another in our lives. In his fear and distress he divides his people and livestock into two groups in the hope that if Esau attacks one group, the other group might be able to escape.
So he employs a little strategy, which is OK, but then he makes a move that’s more than OK, he prays: O God of my father Abraham, he prays. God of my father Isaac, LORD, remember when you said to me, Go back to your country and your relatives, and I will make you prosper? Well… I don’t deserve the kindness and faithfulness you’ve shown me, I know. When I came to Laban, all I had was my staff and the clothes on my back, but now you’ve blessed me so abundantly that I have two camps. Save me LORD, I pray, from my brother Esau. I’m afraid he’ll come and attack me, and my wives, and my children. But, you said, I will surely make you prosper and will make your descendants like the sand of the sea, which cannot be counted.
Jacob prayed, and he prayed fervently.
He spends the night there, and from his great wealth he chooses gifts for his brother Esau: two hundred female goats and twenty male goats, two hundred ewes and twenty rams, thirty female camels with their young, forty cows and ten bulls, and twenty female donkeys and ten male donkeys. He put a servant in charge of each herd and instructed them, Go ahead of me and keep some space between the herds.
Then he says to the one in the lead, When Esau meets you and asks, Who do you belong to, where are you going, and who owns all these animals with you? Then you say, They belong to your servant Jacob. They’re a gift sent to you, my lord Esau, and he, Jacob, is behind us, he’s on his way.
And Jacob tells the second, third, and all the other servants who followed, Say the same thing to Esau. And be sure to say, Your servant Jacob is coming behind us.
Jacob’s thinking, I’ll pacify him with these gifts I’m sending ahead, after he’s received these gifts, by the time I get there, maybe he’ll receive me.
So Jacob’s gifts went on ahead of him, but he himself spent the night in camp.
Responding to Adversity:
Perhaps the best thing to point out concerning Jacob’s response to his adversity is what he didn’t do.
I can’t tell you how much I admire what Jacob didn’t do in response to his situation here. How many of us, when we heard that Esau was coming with four hundred men, would have said to God, Hey! What’s happening here? You said back in Genesis 31, and I quote, “Go back to the land of your fathers and to your relatives, and I will be with you.” Is this your idea of being with me? Esau’s coming with four hundred men. What am I supposed to do about that? I can’t defend myself or my family against four hundred men. Did you forget that Esau said he was going to murder me?
You, or I, or Jacob second guessing God’s decisions for our lives is like a junior high school kid, who once built a bird house in shop class, questioning the guy who built the Golden Gate Bridge — times infinity. When you think it through, second guessing the God who created the earth and all that’s in it, the sun, the solar system, the galaxies, the universe — it’s ridiculous. It’s beyond any semblance of reason to second guess someone who’s demonstrated a capability that’s clearly beyond even the beginnings of our comprehension.
Jacob doesn’t do that. Jacob doesn’t point his finger at God. Instead he demonstrates six ways that you and I can successfully respond to adversity.
1) Provide for protection
The very first thing Jacob does is to provide for his family’s practical protection as best he can. Rather than focusing on what he can’t do, he focuses on what he can do. He can’t battle against four hundred men but he can divide his company into two groups. He does this hoping that if one group is attacked, then the other might escape the hand of Esau. Jacob took action out of love and concern for his family, for his servants, and for all that God had given him to be responsible for.
I feel sorry for my own family, who has to put up with my own enthusiastic approach to this area. In my career I’ve seen houses burn down, cars crash, and heart attacks happen on a regular basis. So whenever I see a family member place something that will burn next to an ignition source, for instance, I’m right on top of it. Seat belts are non-negotiable in my family. I advocate a healthy lifestyle to avoid heart attacks. I sometimes get the eye roll when I insist upon these things but hey, I love my family. I know you do too so provide for their protection, as best you can.
2) Run to the right place
He runs to the right place in his time of need. Jacob recognizes that The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. (Psalm 9:9) When you’re in trouble, the very first place to turn is to your God. Those who know Him trust Him, for He never forsakes those who seek Him. (Psalm 9:10) Jacob didn’t run to Laban’s gods (with a small ‘g’) that Rachel had stolen. He didn’t pray to the angels whom he had just encountered shortly before. He ran to His God. Why run anywhere else for help when the King Himself desires to make Himself available to you?
Though Jacob may have done even better to put his prayer to God before his provision for protection discussed in point number one, he may have had the perception that he didn’t have time to do so. Whenever possible pray first, act second, however, it’s unavoidable that we’ll encounter instances where action is required because there’s no time for prayer. Here we see Jacob seeking out God at what he probably believes to be his earliest opportunity.
3) Point out God’s promises
Jacob begins his prayer with a reminder from God’s word given earlier in Genesis 32: Go back to your country and your relatives, and I will make you prosper. Then he closes his prayer in the same way, summing up God’s word from Genesis 28:13-15: I will surely make you prosper and will make your descendants like the sand of the sea, which cannot be counted.
Jacob illustrates here a very powerful way to pray. I don’t pretend to understand why, but in my own life and in the lives of others, I’ve observed that God tends to move on our behalf when we “remind” Him of His words. One of the great benefits of reading your Bible is that as you come across promises and proclamations made by God, you can “remind” Him of His words as they apply to your own situation. (obviously he doesn’t actually need to be reminded, He’s God) Try it. Try praying in this way and then watch and wait, and you’ll see. You’ll see Him do things — good things.
4) Approach in humility
After reminding God of His word, Jacob humbles himself before the LORD, he says, I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have shown your servant. (Genesis 32:10)
Jesus praised the faith of those who came to Him in humility. The centurion replied, “Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed.” When Jesus heard this, he was amazed and said to those following him, “Truly I tell you, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith.” (Matthew 8:8,10)
The Gentile woman who pleaded with Jesus to save her daughter said, “Even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.” Then Jesus said to her, “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.” And her daughter was healed at that moment. (Matthew 15:27-28)
Recognizing and accepting your own faults and flaws, your own shortcomings and weaknesses, your own humble state, is an important key to approaching God. Jacob demonstrates that beautifully, here in this part of our story.
“Those are best prepared for the greatest mercies that see themselves unworthy of the least.” (Matthew Henry)
5) Approach with thanksgiving
Jacob thanks God for all that he’s given him. He acknowledges that when he first came to Laban, all he had was his staff, but because of God’s grace, he now has grown exceedingly prosperous and has come to own large flocks, and female and male servants, and camels and donkeys. He gives thanks.
6) Share your heart
Jacob speaks from the heart when he says, Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me, and also the mothers with their children. (Genesis 32:11) Jacob was honest with God. He told Him exactly what He was feeling. He might as well be, because everything is open and naked before God. Any attempt to hide anything from Him is folly. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. (Hebrews 4:13)
God wants to hear what’s on your heart. He’s paying attention. He’s paying close attention. He even knows how many hairs are on your head. (Luke 12:6-7) He desires relationship with you. His scriptures are His way of speaking to you, and your prayers are His way of hearing from you. He wants you to spend time with Him. It breaks His heart to see you walk through life apart from Him. He’s for your success and He knows that living a life apart from Him isn’t in your best interest. He’s far more concerned with your relationship with Him, which is eternal, than He is with your current comfort, which is temporal. Your life here on earth is like grass, like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone. (Psalm 103:15-16) But your life with Him is eternal. Invest in that eternal relationship with Him. (Matthew 6:20)
Regarding God’s will for your life in the context of adversity: The worst thing that can happen isn’t that the LORD will impose upon you a direction that you disagree with. The worst thing isn’t even that you miss what God has in mind for you to do. The worst thing that can happen is for you to miss out on drawing closer to Christ in the process. Overcoming adversity together builds relationship. Just ask any firefighter or soldier.
Jesus Christ is your friend.
He’s your brother.
Draw close to Him
(Proverbs 18:24)
References:
Bible Gateway
Blue Letter Bible
Chuck Smith
Steven Furtick
Matthew Henry
John Courson
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Posted on February 24, 2012 by Kurt Bennett
Bible Commentary, Bible Study, Genesis
Genesis 32:1-21, I will pacify him with these gifts I am sending on ahead; later when I see him perhaps he will receive me, Jacob prepares to meet Esau, responding to adversity, Responding to challenges, Save me I pray from the hand of my brother Esau for I am afraid, Surrender Yourself to God