This post is about what’s happening to my friend David Vincent as he processes the news about George Floyd, demonstrations, riots, and whatever else has been happening the last four weeks or so. Written by David himself.

Me Writing

In the midst of our troubles I began to write this piece four weeks ago. 

I am sure this is rewrite number seventy-seven. On paper. On Word. In Docs. In my prayers. In my thoughts. Mostly in the renewing of my mind–and having to bow down, again and again, to the Lordship of Jesus. 

Writing is as important as physical exercise. The task of writing down what weighs you down can reveal a mountain of stuff. I believe everyone should write.

But then. After you write out your mountain of stuff you must edit. It is the necessary pain of the exercise if you hope to break muscle. If you do not edit you cannot remove the truth of all the nonsense in your head. If you do not edit you will not uncover and bring out The Truth. If you do not edit what remains is refuse. 

God Running

But then. I love how Kurt marqueed this site with God Running. A picture of God Running is a most powerful concept to lay down as the foundation for writing about Jesus. The Prodigal story is a multi-structured telling that contains the entire Bible, and the endless layers of abounding mess we are in the light of His much more abounding grace. 

But then. It is in that moment of God Running. Just as the son approached from a distance. I can almost step into his broken and dirty feet. In the worst condition of his life. Weighed down with every kind of ruin; in body, mind, and soul. To see his father running must have been a shock, it must have seemed impossible. Yet, as we are always learning, God not Running is the impossible. This scene overpowers everything.

Everything else in the story bows or fades away to the brightness of His love.

The News of Sin in the World is Wrecking Me

Through our current history of–let me focus in on just the past four weeks. Alongside you I am going through a multitude of struggles. It began with anger toward injustice. My first thought was that the crime should conclude with a neck for a neck. Then anger at more injustice. Along with you I am going through a multi-series of confusion, depression, fear, sadness, stress, and wondering: where am I in all this? The weight of it all is too much. I’ve found myself to be a contradiction. I find I am my own personal hypocrite. And while I don’t have a log in my eye I may have a full cord. I don’t know.

The Answer to My Pain

But what I do, what I am trying to do is just gaze at God Running.           

Each day I began to talk about it here, with an attempt. And each time I found myself applying my own assumptive stance to some scriptural truth only to find He is in a place we are not. 

Everytime I read my Bible and as I see Him running I see how He is far and away outside of what we are thinking and doing. The beauty of Him running breaks me down into a fine powder. And I let go of the mountain of stuff. Even every attempt to explain things here. Everything.  

This is where I’ve ended up–every new hour. That I simply trust Him. That I fix my eyes on Him. That I totally submit to Him. That I obey Him. That I fall in Love with Him. That I love everyone else like He loves. That I join him in the stern of the boat for a nap.

Then everything else we think and do will be Him.

Just Him.

Not me.

Notes:

Image of Magdelena at Jesus’ Feet via Wikimedia Commons — Creative Commons